GUILTY GEAR rocked my fucking world during the pandemic.
It led me to meet some incredible goddamn people and, yes, get into fighting games.
(or try to - as of upload, i've stopped because i can't be assed to deal with my ethernet. wifi warriors rise up v_v)
BUT, I also have no intention of trying to convert people to the gear shit. I will explain nothing that I don't want to. If you're confused, go check out the official catch-up comics + story mode, sponsored lore vids, and/or the GG wikia. The newer 3d games have encyclopedias packaged with them called "GG World" - Strive's is more updated/current.
This page is for being utterly enamored with CHIPP ZANUFF (and Answer because he's chipp's satellite character + really fucking awesome on his own merits too).
He's funny, he's cool, he's sweet and kind and dumb and weirdly aware and one of the best fucking characters to ever exist.
Most of all, I liek him.
I ended up obsessed with Chipp because I saw his insane personal assistant, realized there was an insane ninja guy behind that ninja guy, and went I MUST know his deal as thoroughly as possible or I'll DIE.
as you can see, i'm pretty fucking alive now
List of Chipp Facts (off the top of my head):
- ex-child drug dealer + addict (no jokes about this are funny)
- saved by a real japanese ninja
- tutored and practically fathered by him
- now says he's japanese (this is ungodly funny)
- mentor/dad got killed so he went on a revenge quest
- realized revenge quests suck
- decides he must become president
- didn't know presidents are presidents Of Something, just runs around asking people to vote for him (awesome)
- creates a nation in south africa - because people think he's cool - called the Eastern Chipp Kingdom (awesome)
- gets a gay little chief of staff helping him legitimize this nation (really awesome)
- plot relevant
- has his own light novel (untranslated to english. read by me via korean fan translation + machine translation + middling korean/japanese.)
- it's plot relevant too as of strive!!!!
What About Chipp Warrants This, Anyway?
He's so fucking good on so many levels. His whiteboy swag delights and enamors me so fucking much.
Conceptually, he's insane: white American ninja who yells random Japanese words in his attacks because he doesn't actually know the language. alright.
and then he's an incredibly endearing, well-rounded character. Who just racefakes a little. He's passionate about following his teachings, helping people, and everything else he gets up to.
While he's foul-mouthed and cranky, SIGN's story mode shows his wisdom and how kind he can be!! him and may mlm wlw siblinghood forever
like, while i kinda gloss over his shitty background here, I think most people understand it is outright depressing - his light novel definitely doesn't hold back about it - but it shows that he, like a lot of other gear characters, kinda knows what he's talking about. Makes him soooo compelling to me forever...he didn't even think he'd survive to be 16!!! and look at him now!!!!
I'm not qualified to talk much about gameplay as a lazy casual + beginner, but I'm very much a wifeguy player b/c of chipp. lol.
If i get distracted by his animations, that's more fun than getting stuck in my head about fumbling basic controls ^_^ and while i can't take it anywhere, listening to other chipp players discuss his gameplan, qualities of his moves, combo theory and so forth makes me happy.
in short: guy who makes you feel...a little hope. who proving that there is more to life than the suffering and hardships forever.
also: muscle fetish gays rise up becaues the way chipp's silhouette has changed to emphasize that he's Ripped + his waist thickening is awesome. I don't see enough art about that but we'll get there. ♥
chipp is 29 IF we use chipp's light novel as gospel. he was rescued by tsuyoshi when he Just turned 16. we have the year this event happened thanks to the official timeline (2174) AND, thanks to canon birthdays, the date: feb 9. since the present year of guilty gear is 2187 and unless the story is somehow taking place before february 9, he is 29!
- this means he's a year younger than ky kiske.
- i've seen jp/kr fans also say his age is 29 so that's how i verified my work HAHA
- this means his chinese zodiac's a horse!
with strive, we can say that his gamma blade sucks shit because he made it all the hell up. nago knows the real gamma blade as story mode + the glossary tells us. this means:
- he didn't get the full tsuyoshi education because it was only 3 years long
- dear god he didn't get a complete education before his mentor-dad-guy died
Chipp's Gay Secretary, Answer Xrd
Answer's conceptually so fucking nuts also.
Guy with 3-lens glasses and a skin-tight mask that shows his mouth for emotive purposes in a suit who throws his business cards at you (shuriken) because he is a ninja.
His notable title is he's a "human database" because he remembers just about fucking everything.
(His dislikes include "").
This guy showed up in the story mode + chipp's arcade in SIGN and REVELATOR, but... like... respectfully, who would've imagined he'd become one of the last playable characters...!? (I'm so very glad he did.) and you can see the massive jump his design made across all 3 iterations. good for him!
When you play him he is literally always talking on a phone in business talk - but his crouch idle + interactions show that he is cantankerous and kind of a right bitch (deserved).
he talks back to chipp regularly but also threatens to kill some teenager for hurting his boss. he's constantly calling chipp boss instead of president because he used to be a criminal. so much character! in so little man!
he's such a good fucking character. i have clawed through his stuff w/ friends for every scrap of characterization they lovingly placed in him. I'll do it again
My affection for him is based on his insane concept and his interactions with other characters, Chipp included, but I love to play him too because of how stylish and insanely likable he is. fucker gave me gender envy
there's so many people who want to fuck this guy in my place. god bless go get him tigers
The Frothing Miscellany Section:
chipp is a malewife TO ME. if you don't get it, if you don't agree, it's ok. you are not me. ♥
reasons chipp can malewife:
- he lived by himself for however long i think he had to learn. somefing
- in the novel he declares something along the lines of a president's gotta know about food (dubious translation by me - please don't quote me)
- while YES he has his own malewife do you think Answer, Mr. "precious item is energy drinks" has the time to make good meals??? no. no he's eating those fucking nature valley shits and getting crumbs all over himself between calls.
- yes answer would make his own malewife/malewives* food but i think he's too busy and, frankly, too cunty for it. he's helping carry a country let the guy rest
- self-stated "domestic as hell" tutor to may jellyfishpirates
- dude just trust me
*anji, baiken depending on layers of gender sexuality swag
idk why people think he's short i can believe he's 183cm. i think when he appears short it may be because he's crouching guys.
also he should be 100+kg for sure. i don't believe his listed weight for a second❗❗❗
the unrealized shimeji...
here are the remains of a chipp shimeji i started.
it's not to be finished...
(i'd prefer to start over at this point.)
ok thatse it. leave. thank you for looking but go now