it's been the worst year of my life even without her around
i don't think i get to complain, but

do you think she remembers what she said to me?

"thank you for this and everything you've done to help me over the years.
im so sorry i hurt you.
take care of yourself"

the problem is me, really
who tells someone "this is how you hurt me and my friends"
(not yours - you fucked that up before it got here)

i was 12 when i was her online therapist
on demand and too stupid to tell her "you're wrong"

we were going to live together
when i was ripe and ready
the one good thing the pandemic did, huh?

i was 13 and she told me
how big it was and how it leaned
it was a silly joke, to be kept between the two of us

(5 inches. curved to the left.)

so later there were images
just to be sure i liked it

(we made another game one time
put this inside you - for fun)

her parents knew me by name
is she going to tell them what she told me?
if a 15 year old can hear it, so can your parents,

she was so defensive of people who slipped up
even more when there was a victim:
how can we trust them to tell the truth?

good fucking question

i guess i have to be happy about her moving on
because maybe she won't be a sex pest
with an aching self-esteem
begging to be caressed and rubbed
oh so gently

someday she could contribute by just being there
instead of running everything over and sucking everyone dry

i hope your stupid fucking tesla explodes first

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